Conch Street Nonsense
French Narrator: Ah, what a beautiful day. Ze' ocean is nice and full of life. Well.. Almost! There they are, at the Krusty Krab!
Squidward: Ah, another day another pickle!
Mr. Krabs: You mean another day another dollar!
Squidward: Oh c'mon Mr. K! Today's Sunday! You have to give us the day off! This is ridiculous!
Mr. Krabs: Hmm! I don't know. It doesn't seem fair in my books but.. Eh, fine! I'll give you lads the day off! But I expect better from you moving forward!
[Squidward walks home and starts relaxing]
Squidward: Finally! Some peace and quiet and I'm alone in my house!
[Squidward starts playing his clarinet until he's interrupted by a yellow sponge.]
SpongeBob: Ahoy there, Mateys! Today's Sunday! Squidward! We're gonna be late for work!
Squidward: Work?! I don't have time for that. We have a day-off!
SpongeBob: Squidward, can't you see? I'm soft!
Squidward: Too soft! Obviously because you're an exotic kitchen sponge.
SpongeBob: That's really fascinating! I just learned something new!
Squidward: You already knew that barnacle-head!
SpongeBob: Oh yea!
Squidward: I suggest you lay off the Ice Cream for a bit so you don't get as dumb as Patrick.
SpongeBob: Ah, Squiddy! You always make me laugh!
Squidward: I'M BEING SERIOUS! THIS ISN'T A JOKE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
[Squidward starts chasing them out of his house like a wild baboon and eventually SpongeBob steps on his clarinet.]
Squidward: NO! Get off my clarinet you idiot!
SpongeBob: Bleh. Oh sorry Squidward!
Squidward: Sorry?! That's coming out of your pay check!
SpongeBob: Oh! Usually that's Mr. Krabs' line. Hey! You're not Mr. Krabs! Back off Octopus!
Squidward: Just get out of my house before I get the full power!
Patrick: Oh no SpongeBob! Let's run for our lives!
SpongeBob: Good idea! I'd rather go Jellyfishing!
[SpongeBob and Patrick go Jellyfishing only to come back to Squidward's house a minute later.]
Squidward: Ah. Finally some peace and quiet! Now that those hooligans are gone, everything is well at last!
[SpongeBob and Patrick start knocking on the door.]
Squidward: GO AWAY!
[SpongeBob and Patrick break the door down.]
SpongeBob: We're back! We missed you dearly!
Squidward: I'm sorry. Did I speak another language when It old you guys to GO AWAY!
Patrick: Fine, I'll go away!
SpongeBob: Same! We don't need Squidward!
[SpongeBob and Patrick go back to their homes. Squidward goes back to dancing, playing the piano, and enjoying the peace until he gets bored.]
Squidward: Eh, I'm getting kinda bored. I should go pull a prank on those goofy nut heads. Hehe.
[Squidward secretly travels to Patrick's rock and replaces a pillow with a whoopie cushion. Patrick notices the noise and wakes up.]
Patrick: Oh hi there Squidward! Nice weather we're having!
Squidward: Fools! I placed a whoopie cushion as your pillow! Ahe hahaha
Patrick: [angrily] NOBODY PLACES A WHOOPIE CUSION AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! COMEBACK HERE!
[Squidward starts running towards SpongeBob's house with Patrick not far behind.]
Squidward: Ah Squiddy! Let's make this one count!
[Squidward sticks a sea spider up SpongeBob's nose. SpongeBob wakes up startled.]
SpongeBob: Ahhhh! Who put that there!
Patrick: It was Squidward! Get him!
[The neighbors run out of the house. SpongeBob and Patrick chase Squidward to a nearby fireworks station.]
Squidward: Out of my way, security guards! I have to launch the rocket and get outta here!
Security guard: Wait! Don't push that red button, that fires the..
@everyone except Squidward: FIREWORKS.
[Squidward miraculously pushes the button before everyone finished saying that word.]
Squidward: Oh boy! Here we go again..
[The fireworks were launched and lands on Conch Street on all three houses destroying all of the neighbors' homes!]
Squidward: Not again! That's gonna cost me a fortune!
SpongeBob: Want a fortune cookie, Squidward? They might be lucky.
Squidward opens the cookie and this is what it says: