Squidward's personal secretary
Squidward: Ah, today is the day I get a day away from grease that usually always surrounds me! I wish I could go on vacation but I don't wanna risk leaving by home alone when two bumbling blowheads could easily wreck the havoc out of here.
Secretary: Ah yes. For your service, I will be charging you $3 an hour to watch your house.
Squidward Kinda cheap but okay.
Secretary: What was that I hear?
Squidward: Uh.. nothing. Nevermind.
Squidward: Alright, good bye Bikini Bottom!
[Squidward takes the taxi and off he goes.]
Secretary: Now all I need to do is sit here and just wait. [looks bored]
[coming from outside]
SpongeBob: Pat, should we ask Squidward if we can borrow his house for an experiment?
Patrick: Yea. Our houses won't work and they aren't big or tall enough.
SpongeBob: Okay. [knocks on door politely] [speaks German.] Guten Morgan [speaks Spanish.] señor Squidward.
'Secretary:: Hmm. [thinking to himself] I guess it must be someone here for Squidward. Better tell them he's away.
Secretary: [opens door] Hello there young square and star! Squidward is away now so I don't know if you should use his house for some shenanigans.
SpongeBob: Do you like jellyfishing?
Patrick: Or blowing bubbles?
Secretary: Uh, never really tried that sport.
SpongeBob: C'mon, it's fun. You'll like it.
Secretary: Alright, what can I say? Let's get to it!
[SpongeBob and Patrick introduce the Secretary to the notorious Jellyfish Fields and he starts chasing jellyfish with them.]
Secretary: Ouch, that Jellyfish stung me!
SpongeBob: Jellyfish sometimes sting people when they're scared or angry.
Secretary: How on Earth am I supposed to catch a Jellyfish if I'm being stung all the time.
SpongeBob: You'll get there, we are jellyfish expertise.
'Secretary: [swings arm.] Yes! I caught one. This is a nice sport!
SpongeBob & Patrick: Yea, we LOVE IT!
Secretary: Yeah but I have to do some things for Squidward. I have to file away all his paperwork and file his tax returns.
SpongeBob: Oh please, we want to show you bubble blowing first.
Secretary: [anxiously] Make it quick!
[They all go back to their backyards and SpongeBob introduces the Secretary to the Bubble blowing technique]
SpongeBob: Okay, Secretary, it's all in the technique! [he starts doing his infamous routine.] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [he blows bubbles shaped like ducks.]
Secretary: Woah! So, I guess first, I spin around. [spins] then stop. Double take three times, one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust, whoooo, whoooo, then I have to stop on my right foot, and I can't forget it. Bring it around town, bring-it-a-round-town, then I do this, and this, and this, and this, and that, and this and that, and then.... [blows a huge Gorilla bubble larger than Squidward's house.]
SpongeBob: Yay, you did it!
Secretary: Oh no, the bubble is heading straight for the house!
[Bubble pops at the house and completely dismantles it and Squidward's house is completely destroyed in ashes.]
Secretary: Oh clams! All the paperwork, tax returns, MONEY!
[taxi driving back home, door opens and Squidward gets out with suitcases]
Squidward: [with his eye closed in a happy manner.] I'm back! [walks towards house and opens imagery door] So how'd it go Secretary?
Secretary: [speaks from outside] Not very well you'd imagine.
Squidward: [opens eyes] Oh my goodness! What happened HERE?!
Secretary: It's a long story your master.
Squidward: Then it's better be good then! You're lucky I have insurance or you'd be screwed.
Secretary: Yeah, so.. the day starts off as normal.
[as secretary explains, his voice fades and the scene as well as the episode ends.]