The Spongey Spy
[In a world full of mysteries lies an ocean like any other. Bikini Bottom had been home of the most exotic creatures including kitchen sponges. But this is not the setting this time. Sometimes, even a sponge needs to travel out of water.]
Mr. Krabs: [counting his cash] 16.. 17.. 18.. 19.. 20.. and.... 21! Haha!
SpongeBob: [walking into the office] Hi Mr. Krabs! I was thinking of perhaps going on vacation.
Mr. Krabs: Eh, according to worker's compensation. Fine! Where'd you wanna go, son?
SpongeBob: I always feel like Bikini Bottom is so boring sometimes. I wanna go somewhere else.
Mr. Krabs: There simply is no "somewhere else." You should be wiping the poop deck, thanks!
SpongeBob: Nah, I'm good. By "somewhere else," I was thinking at the surface to the above water world. I always wondered what it'd be like to explore the entire world from above instead of below as always!
Mr. Krabs: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha [chuckles to himself] You realize boy that no one can survive up there, lad! You'd be fried instantly and be sold at a pricey bargain at the fish market.
SpongeBob: But I'm not a fish!
Mr. Krabs: Well, even a sea sponge can sometimes meet the hunger of a starving human up above. Those landlubbers are my enemy which is why I stay away from the "hooks!."
SpongeBob: [nervously] Oh.
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry lad! You're safe in my hands and arms. I haven't seen Plankton these days. I have no idea what he's up to. Probably some diabolical skim as always. It's usual now and I've gotten used to it.
[TV news cast turns on with Johnny Elaine, the talking fish speaks.]
Johnny Elaine: We currently interrupt your program for some important news. A ting cyclops insect bug is making plans to take over the world above water. If he gets ahold of world, he'll control everyone down below. [sobbing] What kind of creature of any sorts would do such a thing?!
[TV turns off.]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I think I know what I'm gonna do today. Save the world!
Mr. Krabs: But isn't money more important?
SpongeBob: Oh Mr. Krabs. When will you realize that money isn't everything.
Mr. Krabs: Well it is in my books. Now I'm not helping you so off you go!
SpongeBob: Wish me luck.
[SpongeBob walks out of the Krusty Krab to a vehicle department.]
SpongeBob: [enters] Hey Guys! I'm a bit short on time but mind providing me with a cool, jazzy vehicle that can go above water?
Store cashier: How jazzy do you want it to be?
SpongeBob: Just "jazzy." So, what've you got?
Store cashier: Nothing, so go away!
Store owner: [stepping out of the shadows] Actually, [chuckles] we do!
Store cashier: Boss, I thought you said we wouldn't sell jazzy vehicles to amateurs? You said only the classiest, coolest, deserves the car?
Store owner: Quiet squire! Anyway, young sponge, we do happen to have one vehicle available that'll be just right for you however it's gonna cost you a fortune.
SpongeBob: Okay, may I see it?
Store owner: Why certainly. This way.
[The owner leads SpongeBob to a special part of the store rarely used. The factory has all cars in all shapes and sizes but the car they're going after costs 10,000 dollars.]
Store owner: Here it is, Bob! The best 319-SBS-Double Decker 3000!
SpongeBob: Cool, cost?
Store owner: Oh, onto that part. That'd be $10,000 dollars.
SpongeBob: What?! 10,000 DOLLARS?! What an absolute, bust rip-off.
Store owner: Oh, so you don't want the offer? Fine then. Fine by me.
SpongeBob: Wait! Please! I'll give you the money.
[The ending of ♪ Grass Skirt Chase ♪ plays. SpongeBob rushes to Squidward's house while Squidward's at work and took Squidward's bag of savings of money and rushes back.]
SpongeBob: [huffing and out of breath] Here's the payment and keep the good change my good man.
Store owner: And here's your new car! Enjoy!
SpongeBob: Thank you! [drives off above into air] Good thing this car is full of water. First stop, Nevada, United States.
[SpongeBob travels in a flying car and lands at a nearby gas station in a desert of Nevada.]
SpongeBob: Hi there! I need to refuel.
Gas station man: Do I know you? Also, how are you a Sponge? And.. and.. you can talk!
SpongeBob: Oh Nevermind that! Just need a refuel.
Gas station man: Your car is literally tiny. Barely longer than my shoelace!
SpongeBob: Eh.. just fill it anyway.
Gas station man: Alright. [fills tank] That'll be $3.99!
SpongeBob: Oooh, prices are cheap!
Gas station man: Obviously. Your car is barely bigger than a small rock!
SpongeBob: Eh, Nevermind. Thanks anyway!
Gas station man: No probs.
SpongeBob: [driving / flying off] Oh my! I forgot! I don't have a driver's license! Good thing this isn't a regular car. You don't need a license to fly a car hehe. Plus, this is above water! Alright, [picks up map given by the Super Secret Spy Network] According to this, Plankton should be right over there.
Plankton: [in the distance] Who dares follow me into the desert of Nevada and Arizona!
SpongeBob: It is I, the Spongey Spy! A.K.A. SpongeBob.
Plankton: You'll have to get past my army of scorpions first! AHAHAHAHAHA!
[Suddenly, a stampede of scorpions started running towards SponegBob. And they were massive in comparison to SpongeBob.]
Plankton: Ha! Time to head to Washington D.C. to take over the United States first!
SpongeBob: [defending himself with spatula.] Hayah! Take that scorpions.
Plankton: Oh no! Don't worry, change of plan. I'm not going to Washington D.C., I'm going somewhere else to conquer so you won't know.
SpongeBob: [chuckles] Hey, good luck with that!
[Plankton dooms off at the speed of light]
SpongeBob: [talks to himself] Ah ha! What he doesn't know is that I secretly installed a GPS tracking device on my vehicle. According to this, he's heading to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, South America. Good thing this vehicle can go at hyper speed, my problems are solved!
[SpongeBob starts to drive the flying car and turns on hyper speed mode. He lost control and crashes into an ocean.]
SpongeBob: Uh oh! [relieved] Good thing I packed some spare parts in the back to fix this vehicle in an emergency. [Gets our and inspects the vehicle.] Hmm.. looks like there's a flat tire. Might as well get the backup tire and replace the current one. [Gets backup tire] Okay, this is the tricky part. [Very anxious and worried as he slowly twists the screws.] Careful, Bob. Steady now. And.... [unscrews it] there! Now, all I have to do is add the tires then my job is done. [He adds the tires and then wonders what to do with the flat tire.] Eh, I'll just keep it for safe keeping. What could possibly go wrong? Hehe.
SpongeBob: Now, off we go! [Turns on engine and zooms off.]
[He reaches Rio in a matter of seconds and notices Plankton on top of the Christ the Redeemer.]
SpongeBob: [looks at Plankton] Plankton, you fiend! What's your plan this time? Huh?
Plankton: Ha ha! Sponge! Brazil is known for their top violence including robberies and much more! With these strong men on my side, I'll be able to conquer countries and RULE THE WORLD, HAHA! So, I'm standing here on an 124 Foot statue and on top of here, I'll release a huge microphone and let the city of Brazil know that doom is on their way. And I'm way above you so there's nothing you can do to stop me!
SpongeBob: Oh yeah?
Plankton: Time to unleash the cockroaches I've been storing for safe keeping. [starts dropping all the cockroaches.]
[SpongeBob picks up flat tire to block himself from the 1,000s of cockroaches falling just above him.]
Plankton: NO! How am I supposed to know a city folk would bring tires with them on their travels, huh?
SpongeBob: Here you go, Plankton! This present was supposed to be given on your birthday but I'm an early bloomer!
[SpongeBob throws the Tire and Plankton completely damaging his vehicle.]
Plankton: No! How am I supposed to carry out my plan? Alright Sponge! I'll just have to visit the casino and win some bucks to buy a new mode of transport, THANKS TO YOU! And you won't know which casino I'm going to. Good thing I have my invisible ray gun. [blasts himself.] Dang, I'm smell though. Every person it zaps, they stink. Well, now you can't see me! [runs off.] Yes!
SpongeBob: [speaks to himself.] Well, I guess the only way now is just to find clues of things that Plankton might've left behind to find the right casino. And.. I know which direction he went! He went south! [starts engine and starts flying in the direction of south.] Ah. The nice breeze. Oh wow. There's a clue! Plankton usually likes eating Cashews a type of nut and looks like he dropped one which probably means we're heading the right direction! Hmm. Oh my. Plankton said he had a stinky smell. And this area stinks. And the nearest casino is Pepe de Gallaria right over there!
[SpongeBob drives up the driveway and enters the casino quietly and notices Plankton playing Poker and kept winning. SpongeBob quietly crouches and sneaks closer to get a better looks.]
Casino Man: And.. miseur Plankton wins.. again.
Plankton: Oh diggety dog! I'm running out of room for the extra cash.
SpongeBob: Not so fast, Plankton!
Plankton: SpongeBob, what are you doing here?
Casino Man: Wha-
Plankton: I'm heading to the rent-a-car place now! Haha!
[ ♪ Unknown Track 36 ♪ starts playing and Plankton runs off with SpongeBob following him.]
Plankton: Good thing there's an automobile center next to this casino. [runs in gasping.] Why excuse me young fellow.
Auto car service guy: Yes?
Plankton: Give me a car! Here's the money!
[Plankton runs, throws the money, takes the keys and drives off quickly. Then SpongeBob runs in.]
SpongeBob: Sir, which way did a green plankton go?
Auto car service guy: He went a-that away. [points East.]
SpongeBob: Thanks. [runs off East.]
Auto car service guy: What a weird day today, eh. First, a casino appears next door. Then, a guy just comes and takes a car without saying a full sentence. A sponge turns this into a chase. What's next, a piano falls from the sky?!
[A piano falls from nowhere.]
Auto car service guy: Oh wow. Today's the day I learned to keep my big mouth shut.
[Scene zooms to SpongeBob.]
SpongeBob: Alright, SpongeBob. I'm heading the right direction but where is he?
Plankton: [from above.] Yoo-hoo down there! It's me. Your friendly neighbor. Or should I say neigh!
SpongeBob: Why?
Plankton: Because look! Aha! [drops a horse.]
[SpongeBob moves vehicle and dodges the horse and the horse lands in the ocean.]
SpongeBob: Ha Plankton!
Plankton: I shall take over a continent with over a billion people! And lots of land animals! See ya there!
SpongeBob: Lots of people and animals? That could mean only one thing! [Scene zooms into SpongeBob's face.] A F R I C A!
Automated speaker: Hello there citizen! I am an automated speaker and I can auto drive you anywhere while you relax. Where would your destination be on this quite fine day?
SpongeBob: Set a course to Africa.
Automated speaker: Course located. Prepare launch in 3. 2. 1. Lift off!
[Steam comes out of the engine and the car zooms and cruises in style.]
SpongeBob: Ah man, this stuff has everything!
[SpongeBob starts to sleep, a few seconds later, the car lands onto a dusty field in the Serengeti, Africa.]
SpongeBob: Oh wow. This place is weird.
[Lion comes and roars.]
SpongeBob: Oh gosh. I've never seen a sea lion on land before! Good thing I'm in a closed vehicle. [wipes off sweat] Phew!
[Lion scratches window roughly.]
Plankton: [from above.] Need a hand, Sponge? Grab hold of the rope to lift your vehicle. Good thing I purchased this helicopter along with that futuristic submarine! Oh wait, that sub was a complete rip-off! I forgot that I could breathe underwater. Dang Plankton, you lost another nickel! Or should I say 1,000 nickels hehe.
SpongeBob: Oh Plankton! Stop talking to yourself and get me out of here! Like what the heck.
Plankton: Alright, but you're lucky I'm actually helping you. I'd rather leave you as dead meat and prey for the lions, [but krabs would clam me into pieces.] But don't worry down there! You're not gonna be dead meat for the female lions and their cubs. You're gonna be meat for the big male! So long down there! [lowers anchor.]
SpongeBob: No Plankton! [starts sobbing.] How could you?!
[Unfortunately, one of the windows was open so the lion grabbed SpongeBob with its powerful claws.]
SpongeBob: [scared.] Uh, nice lion! [whispers.] Note to self for next time! Never trust a sea lion. Or should I say land lion, ever!
[Lion throws SpongeBob into its teeth.]
Plankton: Bye Bob! Looks like Sponge Cake is on he menu for this powerful, yet evil beast! What a marvelous creature!
[Lion spits out SpongeBob and he hits Plankton and he falls out of vehicle.]
SpongeBob: Aw, don't worry Plankton! I know you'd miss me! That's why I am made out of Sponge!
Plankton: Curses.
[Lion roars and looks at Plankton.]
Plankton: [eyeballs get wider as beast approaches.] I'm dead meat. That's why I shouldn't have ever trusted a lion! [starts screaming.] Ahhhhhhhh!.
SpongeBob: Bye Plankton!
Plankton: [inside Lion's stomach.] Guess I'll just have to wait for eternity, to perhaps take it course. Oh mother nature, WHY! Should've listened to what old grandpa Plankton said: "You should never go near landlubbers. They eat ya like a corn dog on a scurvy bottle."
French narrator: One disgusting montage later....
Plankton: Finally, I'm out of that disgusting animal's stomach and trust me, it reeks in there. Stinks, ol' bubby. Now I understand why I'm still alive. And the worst part was watching the dung beetles eat the dung. I almost threw up. You know, the weirdest thing of them all is that I'm still yet talking to myself without even noticing. Whoops! You learn something every day, don't you?
SpongeBob: Not so fast Plankton! You're not gettin' away from me!
Plankton: Oh. I am and I will! See you in London, water boy!
SpongeBob: Wha-
Plankton: The gateway to the world is in London! I shall conquer Buckingham Palace!
[Plankton turns on engine and flies away.]
SpongeBob: [talks to himself.] Come on Sponge! Step to it! I've got this!
[SpongeBob turns on engine and flies after him.]
French narrator: One sensational montage later....
[They land in London, on top of Big Ben.]
Plankton: Oh wow. I can warn every citizen here that a new leader is coming! And that they'll think I'm an alien and surrender! Aha!
SpongeBob: Uh, Plankton? You're barely a few inches tall.
Plankton: Yeah, yeah! Quit the potty mouth, thanks. Wait, how'd you get here? I thought I left you in the dusty plains of Africa? Oh wait.. [frowns; unamused.] You have a vehicle too-. Curses!
SpongeBob: Time to blast you off of Big Ben with my super thumb flicker on my hand!.
Plankton: You call that a blast! It's tiny, wait huge, at least compared to me! It IS! Stop, wait no! I have to go to Buckingham Palace! Wait-
[SpongeBob flicks Plankton off.]
Plankton: Ahhhhh!
[Scene transitions to inside Buckingham Palace.]
Queen of England: Didn't you hear something, servant? It almost sounded like someone needed help?
Servant: Eh, time for your stroll out in the garden your honor.
[Queen walks outside and Plankton lands on her hat!.]
Queen: Ugh, disgusting bug! [flicks Plankton into drain.] So where were we? Oh yes, look at all the beautiful flowers! Too bad that bug had to ruin the peaceful moment and the happy hour. [sighs.]
[Plankton climbs out of the drain.]
Plankton: This location was a disaster!
[Clicks remote button. Gets on vehicle and zooms off with SpongeBob on his cloud dust trail.]
SpongeBob: Come back here Plankton!
Plankton: NEVER! I'll never let you catch up to me!
SpongeBob: Oh yeah? [turns up speed.] How about now?
[SpongeBob goes so fast in his vehicle that he collides with Plankton sending Plankton crashing into a snowy area.]
Plankton: Man, I bet we're in Switzerland. Dang! Good thing I brought my skis. Although this would've made a marvelous ski resort to make some profits for my new latest evil scheme. Too bad though it's an abandoned area of frosty ice and snow.
SpongeBob: Plankton! This would've never started if you gave up evil a while ago!
Plankton: Or this would've never happened if the world already surrendered before I made a single action, if the world perhaps made me king, then I'd rule all of you down below in Bikini Bottom and feed the citizens Krabby Patties as well as turn them into my minions! [laughs evilly.] [starts skiing.] Catch me if you can, Bob! I'm probably gonna head to the world bank to get all them cash! Then I'll at least be filthy rich! I'll invade the entire bank! Haha! See ya done the slope square! You don't even know how to ski! Ha!
SpongeBob: I'll have you know Plankton that I went to ski school and I'm a better ski-er than you!. [presses a button] Good thing this car is prepared! It has everything! Even, it's own attached skis! [glides down hill.] Oh ready you're not, here I come!
Plankton: What the- You fool! I should've went to Japan!
[SpongeBob crashes down on Plankton and grabs him and handcuffs him.]
SpongeBob: Good thing I brought those! They finally came in handy!
Plankton: Unluckily for you, I'm a supposed "bug!" I hate when people call me that! I'm an evil mastermind, not a fly!
SpongeBob: No offense, but you kinda look like one!
Plankton: Well, be quiet! I don't need to hear you're trash-talking back to me! You're a kid! Not a man or a spy, an amateur who knows nothing about spying and the technologies of it.!
SpongeBob: I'm not gonna let your distasteful, heartless comments reach my heart! Therefore, I had my ears blocked the whole time.
Plankton: Dang it. I could've discussed my evil plans without you even knowing! Well, looks like I should try another country.
French narrator: One Chinese time later!
Plankton: Note to self, never climb, nor walk the crippling Great Wall of China! It's way to dangerous. Also, don't try this at home. [tries to defend himself from the water balloons SpongeBob throws at him.]
French narrator: One Indian time later!
Plankton: Okay skipping this one. Otherwise, I'll melt.
French narrator: One French time later! Finally, for once in my job, something has to do with French miseur!
Plankton: [on top of the Eiffel Tower using a microphone to project his voice.] Greetings everyone in France including Frenchy the French Narrator. I shall rule you all, I demand you to surrender or this is war!
[Everyone gasps.]
SpongeBob [also using microphone.] Everyone just listen to me please. Please ignore this freak. Doesn't have a brain. He's a bug, don't worry, he won't take over the world.
[Everyone calms down and is in relief.]
Plankton: SpongeBoob!
French Narrator: One Japanese Time later....
Unnamed surfer: Everyone watch out for the tsunami.
[Everyone runs away but leaves Plankton behind.]
Plankton: You guys are just cruel! Folks these days. [sighs.] [wave approaches.] Uh, oh.
[Tsunami crashes and splashes Plankton.]
French narrator: One wet eternity later....
Plankton: Good thing I can actually breathe underwater! Otherwise, I'd be screwed. Everyone, true fact, never visit Japan.
French Narrator: One American time later!
Plankton: Ah, in San Francisco's Golden State Bridge. I shall swim to Alcatraz and gain the help of the world's most violent criminals, hehe!
SpongeBob: [voice in background.] You do realize Alcatraz is closed, right?
Plankton: Ugh, FIDDLESTICKS!
French narrator: One British, er.. I mean Australian Time later.....
Plankton: At least in Australia I can perhaps gain control of the world's most dangerous species, the largest crocodile on the planet, the Saltwater crocodile and I can get a Great White Shark to terrorize everyone down below. [giggles.]
SpongeBob: [rides on Kangaroo while holding a Koala Bear.] Too bad Plankton. The scene ends right here, right now.!
Plankton: What-
French narrator: One African, madagascarian, time later....
Plankton: Curse that selfish animation group. They're all a bunch of sitting pigs!
SpongeBob: Tell that to the lemurs!.
Plankton: What?
SpongeBob: No, really! They're actually recording you speak.
Plankton: Ugh.
Lemurs: ooh ooh, ahh ahh. Watch out for the fossa!
Plankton: Uh, what's a fossa. Oh no, not another lion!
SpongeBob: That's not a lion, Plankton. According to the official dictionary published by Wacky Studios, "The fossa is a cat-like, carnivorous mammal endemic to Madagascar."
Plankton: No, really SpongeBob?! Look to the left of the fossa!
[Lion roars.]
SpongeBob: Oh wow. I never noticed. I never knew Lions existed in Madagascar?!
Plankton: [panicked and anxious with sweat draining down his body.] Me, neither!
[Lion chases Plankton.]
Plankton: Oh, [screams.] Ahhhh!
French narrator: One frosty cold, Antarctican time later....
[Plankton appears at the corner of the time card, injured.]
Plankton: What?! Where in the middle of nowhere!
SpongeBob: By nowhere, you mean- actually, nowhere has lots of different meanings! Nice observation young, not-smart fellow!
[Polar bear roars]
Plankton: What the scallop! How does a polar bear suddenly appear in the Antarctic when it's supposed to live in the ARCTIC!
[Polar bear starts chasing Plankton. A few penguins bring some popcorn and sit in rows of seats with SpongeBob and some seals as they're an audience watching the torture of Plankton. Even a humpback whale joins the crowd.]
French narrator: One oceanic, gruesome, wet, tired, hungry, bankrupt, thirsty, revenge-seeking, vindictive, Bikini Bottom time later.
Plankton: [outside the Krusty Krab] Ugh, I can't take it anymore! It ruined all of my budget and my injuries that I sustained during my travels will cost a fortune! [sighs] All thanks to SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Yay! I did it! I save the world from certain doom!
Plankton: Sure you did!
Mr. Krabs: [walks out.] Good job boy! You've made old papa Krabs proud! You're gonna be famous! [excited] And then I'm gonna get all the money.
Squidward: Don't forget to sign autographs Kelp-for-Brains and be nice to your adoring fans since you've supposedly saved their lives.
Plankton: Maybe it's time for someone else to take the job as a spy who follows me around.
[Scene zooms in on Squidward.]
French narrator: What's next?
[Scene ends.]